A Return A Departure

I went to work despite my weariness although this time my lethargy wasn’t just emotional it was physical. I was quite excited to go on a building tour with the rest of my coworkers and got up bright and early at 11 am to meet them at 11:30. Alas when I got to the building there my coworkers were not to be found. Instead an Asian man let me into the building. He nervously talked while showing me around the office. He called it a loft because it had high ceilings. He also said it was cozy because it was actually stuffy. The tour was especially disappointing because on my arrival a delivery guy was walking upstairs with a stack of warm pizza but I couldn’t smell it. I couldn’t smell anything. My nose must have been broken.

After I made it to the office and gave everyone a lackluster report back we all went to lunch – the CEO included! Evidently he’d lost his phone somewhere in Europe and had found the experience so liberating that he decided he wouldn’t contact anyone from work for the rest of his vacation. Despite having gone to Europe when I prodded him for more detail he came up empty. Evidently he just sat on the beach and drank bottles of cheap wine although he and his friends did get a drone that they flew out in the mornings to see which beach would best suit a few young winos.

“Do you still have bed bugs,” I asked him with genuine concern.

“No. My mom called pest control and the guy couldn’t find any. Before I left I set up a trap like the Engineer suggested and nothing was caught. So I guess I don’t have any,” he replied.

I was conflicted about his lack of bed bugs. On one hand I am glad that he didn’t have them. Bed bugs are an atrocity. They are annoying and disgusting. On the other hand he is my boss and as someone who makes four times what I do and will probably be rich his entire life I would like to see him suffer a little like us mensch.

The Head of Marketing ditched out on lunch to feast with his cousin. Evidently his cousin also happens to be his girlfriend. Which is weird. I guess the sex cult is more like a sex family.

During lunch at this Shabu place, which was a new experience for most at the table, we watched some Maury Povich! The talk show episode was titled “Did My Girlfriend Cheat On Me With Another Girl!?” The guests, or contestants, or whatever they were, were hooked up to lie detectors to see if they were good enough at passing polygraphs or if they had a side piece.

“It’s infidelity,” the Graphic Designer commented on the moral implications of the actions of the Girlfriend getting her side swerve on.

“It’s fine,” the Office Lesbian said, further eroding the sanctity of heteronormative life.

“It’s dopamine,” the CEO exclaimed referring to a TED talk he’d based the company on.

We talked about Virtual Porn and the implications of cheating on one’s partner with a robot.

It was the Feminist Data Analyst’s last day so she came in for 30 minutes and returned her computer.  I was sad to see her go but on her way out she gave me a ride home. We passed by a particularly enthusiastic SF resident which made me feel better about myself. Hey the world is a shit pit but at least I’m not as depressed as this guy!? – He probably needs more dopamine.


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