Halfway Hopes

The CEO didn’t come in today. He had a terrible headache. I think it was from all the gluten he was ingesting at lunch yesterday. He threw his diet overboard like Kate Winslet dumped Leo DiCaprio in James Cameron’s “Titanic.” The CEO did it with the same amount of remorse too — none.

The Real Estate agent and the new tenants did come in though. No one knows when they are moving in but it seems our moving out is coming quicker than we thought. The new tenants, a bunch of techie dorks, went around the office measuring, pointing, and brain storming future plans for the office. Little do they know that this office is haunted by a ghost. The ghost of start up failure. OOOOOoooohhh scary!

The Head of Marketing’s cousin came in again. She showed us her butt plug and stuck it on the wall. It stayed there for a minute before it fell on the ground. She then unceremoniously dumped it into her purse.

“It’s okay it has period blood on it anyways.”

I bought her some creamer for her tea. She affects an English Accent so she likes to have tea in the afternoons. She thanked me. I said it was okay because now the Head of Marketing would hold onto my leg while I had sex with her. Later the Head of Marketing agreed with me that anal sex didn’t count as sex. What counts is that the Head of Marketing will cry and that he will be holding onto my leg crying into my wispy, curly leg hair.

The Rubber Chicken decided to go on a walk with us today to Whole Foods. Here are some pictures of her at the local grocery.

Even chickens can't afford these prices

Even chickens can’t afford these prices

A cartoon comrade sells out.

A cartoon comrade sells out.

The Horror! The Horror! This is not organic free range lemon herb chicken!

The Horror! The Horror! This is not organic free range lemon herb chicken!

False. The chicken gave up hope halfway.

False. The chicken gave up hope halfway.

We were all saddened that the Chicken was unable to cross the road and come back to the office with us. Let us take a moment for her.

One thought on “Halfway Hopes

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s