The Lost Phone

The Head of Marketing didn’t come in today. I think it’s because of my voo doo curse! I am really hoping that my zit spell made him have to stay home with a jar of Clearasil.

With the Head of Marketing and his cousin out, the office seemed pretty mellow. The Office Lesbian took advantage of the calm to use her superior markmanship to pin a dart on the blade of a moving fan. She used a small nerf gun to affix the fan blade with a small suction headed dart. It was really impressive and we were all wowed that it only took her two shots to hit the blade. She’s basically the Annie Oakley of our office.

Portrait of the Office Lesbian

The weekend still lingered on. The Office Lesbian went to church this weekend and brought the air of religion with her.

“Jews make morals fun,” she exclaimed. “No really, morals are fun guys.”

“I suppose we must all bear crosses in our live, and morality is the one you must carry,” I said with a sigh.

“Jews don’t bear crosses,” she retorted.

I nodded and we shelved the question of morals as something that we probably wouldn’t bother with ever again.

The CEO came in late today. He was going to get up early and go exercise but “fuck it,” he’d said with an air piercing chortle.

“Hey do you know where that tester phone is,” the Office Lesbian asked the CEO.

“Oh. I took it  then I lost it,” the CEO replied.

“Uh…” the Office Lesbian said. “I think we will need another one.”

“Sure. When does the new iphone come out guys,” the CEO asked.

The CEO took his losing his phone with a fair amount of aplomb. I guess when  you lose it all the time it’s not a big deal anymore.

Eh. No big deal guys.

The Graphic Designer spent some time making insulting memes of things the CEO said. We are considering selling the memes as a way to crowdfund the CEO getting a new phone.

The Engineer is very excited because we got fancy ice cubes. We also obtained other instruments for making bougy cocktails. I am excited to get classy wasted at work. 

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